Ever Take Your Man Shopping??

My Mum forwarded this email to me, and I thought I just had to share with my readers. I have to say I never came close to this with Ed, nor with my Dad, but never knew what some men would do to keep themselves entertained while their wife/girlfriend shops. Bring new meaning to the term "now just amuse yourself for a bit, I'll only be a minute." The particular Tesco's grocery store they refer to is only down the road from where I live at the moment...I'll have to be a bit vigilante in future. Hope you enjoy a good giggle and wheeze!

"HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S"

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics...

Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off a 5 minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.

10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again..'

And; last, but not least:

14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

If this sounds familiar to anyone... you might want to consider leaving your partner at home.

Making the Upholstery Less Dirty

Before we moved, I wanted to clean our sofa and matching chair. We use them everyday and the grub just seems to sneak up on to them! So I rented an upholstery cleaner and had a go. The air turned a bit blue and the carpet and I got quite wet. I'm still not convinced the upholstery is any cleaner, but at least they look less dirty. D'you think?

The Rug Doctor! Starting with the back, but only getting wet in the process... Before, and..... ...after....I think :)

Before, and....
...after! More of a difference with the chair.

The Dining Room Chairs!

As one does when one is moving house to another country, one should reupholster their dining room chairs....so we did. For as long as I can remember, our six dining room chairs have been unique: One was upholstered, and the rest were not. I always assumed that this upholstered chair was my Mum's, the one with the arms was Dad's, and the broken one went to me and the rest were for our guests. And often when going through Mum's craft supplies we would come across a piece of folded fabric, and Mum would say something like 'ah yes, this is the fabric to do the dining room chairs'. A while back we even planned on buying the foam we needed to finish them, but then we didn't quite make it to the store and we couldn't find the staple gun so the project was postponed. And now finally when all the components have come together and the staple gun was found, we have six completed, and matching chairs! I am particularly proud of our accomplishment, and hope you're equally as impressed!

Before.....

And after!!

Ta da!!!

Henley Royal Regatta

My sister Catherine lives with her fiance Mark in Henley-on-Thames, the home of the Annual Royal Regatta. As Catherine and Mark were just moving in a year ago this weekend, we weren't able to actually see any of the regatta. However this year to tie in with the English Summer Theme, Ed and I planned a weekend away visiting Catherine and Mark. It was a mix of celebrations: the Regatta, one year since the two of them moved in, Catherine getting her Gold medal in the choir (more info on her blog), and Mark's *muffled*th Birthday! The weather wasn't promising to be perfect the whole weekend, so as with Wimbledon we planned for all occasions. I also came equipped with my summer dress, a light jumper, and my Father's boater hat. Though we wouldn't be buying passes to go into the 'holding pens' where the really posh people would be, I still wanted to play along and blend in. Therefore, I did my research. Though the rules are a bit more relaxed if you aren't holding a pass into the Stewards' Enclosure, they do wish that people maintain the long standing traditions of appropriate dress. For example, ladies are required to wear a dress or skirt suit with the hem line falling below the knee, trousers will not be permitted; shoulders must be tastefully covered, and they are encouraged to wear hats. The men on the other hand must come appropriately attired in lounge suits, jackets, or blazers, and of course sporting a tie or cravat. Jeans would not be acceptable under any circumstances! I love the idea of dressing up and mucking in with the hob-nobbers, not being one myself. It's quite like a wedding at our church with the fabulously well-connected. I saw similar hints of this at the church service on Sunday. Catherine and I sang in the choir, and watched from a safe distance as all the hats twitched in the congregation. After the boys joined us, we had a birthday brunch for Mark at he Catherine wheel, and we continued our observing at the water front. I brought my binoculars and gazed at the rowers across the river warming up and milling about. Catherine and I sat by the dock, and the boys stood as we enjoyed a thoroughly English ice-cream! To add to the decadence, we headed back to Catherine and Mark's just as the rain was threatening its presence and enjoyed Catherine's fabulous devil's food cake to celebrate Marks' Birthday. I must also add that on top of all this very grown up dressing up and socializing, the four of us stayed up late playing Scrabble (not very well), Cranium, and Hearts the card game. I'm really pleased I got to see this quintessential English event before I head back to the home land, and look forward to the next bit of fun!

A view of the river from our perch.
There weren't just row boats, but even old steam bots moored.
In this steam boat's wheel, there were a few duckling squeaking away. I've circled them as they blend in with the water.
This boat wasn't on fire they had a coal fire inside.
The ominous clouds....
Catherine guarding her ice-cream.
The boys with their Mr. Whippy Flakes.
Mark's birthday cake, and candle! (That's Pimm's in the glass by the way, not beer)
The boys playing with a very grown up game.
I thought this bear was great, cause he had the same hat it did!